Perfection is my middle name. Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy.
JACK: I almost let him choke to death right there on the football field. [PRIEST is shocked.] I looked the other way when my wig-based parent company turned a bunch of children orange. I once claimed “I am God” — during a deposition.
JACK: And I may have sodomized our former vice president while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics. Ahhh! It feels good to say that out loud. Actually, that one was weighing on me."